I've had a somewhat difficult time thinking about turning 25. It seems like once you hit mid twenties there's no turning back, your officially an adult with really responsibilities and obligations. Things start changing fast and there are no more excuses for prolonging young adulthood.
I've always been one of those people who didn't really plan their life out, or make decisions about future family goals or major life decisions. I always just thought, when the time is right, I will know and it will happen.
This year has brought on a whole new way of thinking in me and I feel like I'm finally growing up. First of all, I actually know and have a goal about my career and where I want it to take me. I feel like I can finally relax knowing that I am confident about what I want to do the rest of my life. Maybe that's why I went through so much school, because I didn't really know what I wanted to do and hoped I would figure it out along the way. And thanks to a lot of prayer and research and patience I finally do.
Secondly, I'm finally warming up to the idea of getting married. I've always been so afraid of marriage and the possibility of divorce and disappointment. It has nothing to do with the person I'm with but everything to do with the world around me. I just don't think people take marriage seriously anymore and think if they don't like it they can just get out. I never wanted it to be like that for me. I want to be married because I can't imagine my life without that person and I want them to feel the same way. I want to know that my marriage would be able to make it through anything and be confident that even though me nor my partner is perfect, that we can count on each other to love one another regardless of our imperfections.
I think the biggest misconception about marriage and relationships is that they should be effortless and perfect all the time. (Something TV teaches us!) But the truth is NO ONE is perfect! You'll fight, you'll be disappointed, you'll cry, you'll worry, but you will also, make up, be pleasantly surprised, laugh, and be comforted. I feel so lucky that I've found someone who loves me unconditionally and enjoys doing the little things for me and making me happy everyday. He is truly an amazing person with an amazing family. I feel so blessed to call him mine and I truly look forward to the day when I get to wear his last name.
I think the best thing about him is that he makes me HAPPY! I look forward to seeing him walk through that door everyday and I really miss him when he's gone.
Lastly, and this may be a shock to most who know me but I actually want children. I have always said I will never have kids. I just never really thought that I would be a good mother and I really think I would be an even worse pregnant person. I cringe at the thought of giving birth and all the pregnancy stuff that goes along with it. But, I think going through 9 months of an uncomfortable, scary experience will be more than worth it to have a lifetime of unconditional love. This does not mean I want children anytime soon but I am proud to say that I've actually made the decision to hopefully be blessed enough to have them one day.
Looking back on the experiences of my life I feel so blessed and more than lucky to have the family and friends I have. My family is truly amazing and I love them so much. My Mom is crazy and fun and the best at giving advise and my Dad is supportive and loving and has really taught me how to care for others regardless of their differences. They both support and love me in everything I do. They also have been blessed with exceptional partners. I couldn't have asked for a better step-mom and step-dad. Both are great examples of how great a relationship can be with someone you truly love and I thank the Lord everyday that they found happiness.
I think that turning 25 won't be so bad after all. I have an amazing family and wonderful friends. I am extremely lucky to have all that I have and I thank the Lord everyday for blessing me the way he has. I really look forward to the next chapter in my life. It's coming faster with each passing day.
We leave London in July, which will be the end of our travels and living abroad, at least for a while. By then I'll be opening the door to the real world and taking a flying leap in!
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